Jolliarty John, Molly and Jim
by City of Lunatics
Summary: Before anyone asks this is what the imaginations of 3 super hyper girls can come up with in about 3 hours. And yes I know it is the most random shipping ever but we had so much fun writing it we thought we should share it. Oh and we know we're weird but we're proud to be weird! Ok I'm finished now. I'm going to let you read the actual fanfic now, if you want to that is .
1. Chapter 1

Jolliarty

(John, Molly and Jim)

**Hi John, want to come over and watch Glee? –Molly xxx**

**Yes OK-John**

**See you in five. –M x**

**See you then-John**

**Hi Molly, Are you busy? –Jim**

**Uh... No... Want to come over and watch Glee again? –Mol xxx**

**Shall I bring coffee?-JM**

**Shall I bring tea?-John**

**Uh... Actually John, I'm OK for tea. –M**

**Yes, that'd be great Jim. –M **

**Oh...Ok Molly-John**

**See you soon – JM**

Molly nibbled on her finger nail, wondering what the hell she was thinking inviting both Jim and John over at the same time. John knocked on the door. Molly quickly put on a bit of lipstick and opened the door.

"Hi Molly" John said smiling.

"Hey John." She said with a slightly forced smile and walked inside with John, closing the door behind them. John didn't notice that the smile was forced.

The doorbell rang. She took a deep breath and answered the door.

"Hi Molly, how are you?" John turned round slowly after hearing Jim's voice.

"I'm... uh... I'm good thanks, how're you?"

"Good"

John stood a little way behind Molly but Jim had not yet seen him. John was trying to check if it really was Jim. Molly looked behind her at John.

"I'm sorry." she murmured.

"It's you!"

"Yeah it's me and it's you." Molly stepped back to allow the consulting criminal and the blogger to talk.

"Has anyone tried to blow you up lately?"

"Uh...no." John raised an eyebrow.

"You just seem a very good person for blowing up." Molly sniggered. John shot a look at Molly.

"I've discovered that you think that about me. Quite a few times actually."

"I think we should watch Glee now." Jim said.

Molly burst into fits of giggles.

"Um...Molly...Are you OK?" asked John. Molly leant on Jim's shoulder, still giggling.

"My favourite one is the first one" Jim told no one in particular. That just made Molly laugh harder.

"Riight." Molly sank to the floor laughing.

"Are you ok Molly?" said Jim. Molly nodded, unable to talk. John started to walk into the living room, slowly backing away from Molly. Jim followed. Molly rolled on the floor with laughter. John walked back to Molly and pulled her up and into the lounge. Molly slapped him.

"What the _hell_ was that for?"Molly giggled and hiccupped. He pushed her into the seat between Jim and himself.

"Hi John" John frowned but didn't answer unsure as to why Jim was being friendly with him.

"Aren't you going to say hi?"

"Hi" John said coldly.

"Actually I think we should watch the third one"

"I feel sick" Molly said running to the bathroom.

"Well this is awkward." John said simply.

"Yeah. How is Sherlock? Is he still bored?"

"Shooting walls."

"Wow." They heard Molly throwing up in the toilet.

"He shot my chair...and the fridge...and the oven...and everything else. We need new furniture."

"I know a dodgy salesperson who would give you new furniture. There is a small chance it would blow up when you tried to use it but other than that it's pretty safe."

"The problem that I have with that is the fact that the salesperson is dodgy. I don't mind about the exploding bit."

"So if you don't mind being blown up... Can I blow you up?"

"..." John raised an eyebrow at Jim. "What do you think? That's a no by the way."

"Please?"

"You had your chance at the pool."

"I had something more important to do then. Now I don't."

"Too late Moriarty."

"WHY AM I EVEN ASKING YOUR PERMISSION!"

"Because you're an idiot."

Jim made a very over-dramatic shocked face.

"Be as shocked as you want, it won't make a difference." Jim sighed and pulled out a gun. John pulled out a gun from his trousers. "Old habits, Jim. Old habits."

Jim pulled the trigger and shot John. He missed. "FAIL!" John shouted. He continued pointing his gun at Jim.

"I'm bored now"

"Don't sound like Sherlock. It's annoying enough having one person doing it."

Molly walked out the bathroom, completely oblivious they were trying to shoot each other. "Shall we watch Glee now?"

"Sure"

John slowly lowered his gun but he kept it by his side. "Yeah" John said wanting to have a distraction. He moved up on the sofa so Molly could sit between Jim and John. Molly sat between Jim and John.

"Which one are we going to watch?"

"Up to you."

"Well I've never watched it before so..." John trailed off. He went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

"Welllllllllll I think we should watch the 1st one, or maybe the 3rd one, actually the 6th one might be best, no the 2nd one..." Jim was still trying to decide when John came back with a cup of tea.

"I know you're 'Sooo changeable' and that but seriously?"

"Let's watch the third. I like that one. It's sweet." John smiled at Molly trying to ignore Jim who Molly obviously preferred.

"You know, I was actually thinking that one would be best but I just wasn't sure." John clenched his jaw and looked away from Molly and Jim.

"Aww Jim, that's so sweet..." Molly simpered. John tried to ignore them but was finding it hard especially as John could see Jim smirking at him out of the corner of his eye.

"Poor John" teased Jim

"Hm?" John looked uninterested. Molly smiled sweetly at Jim, not realising he was teasing John. John was starting to get really annoyed at Jim. Molly yawned and rested her head on Jim's shoulder. John glanced over trying to stay calm.

"I'm really bored now. Can we watch a different one?" Molly frowned. John glared at Jim.

"W" Jim said

"X, Y and Z" Molly grinned. John rolled his eyes and slightly turned away from them. Molly looked sympathetically at John. John ignored her.

"Don't hate me John." John glanced at Molly, slightly smiling.

"I don't."

"Good, because I love you." Jim said.

"Wut?"

"Gotcha!" Molly giggled. John turned away again, sighing.

"Sorry" Molly muttered. John ignored her again, mainly because if he looked at her he'd have to look at Jim who was looking smug. Jim's phone rang.

"Would you mind if I just go and kill someone? They're really getting on my nerves."

"Oh no that's fine." John said sarcastically.

"Yeah, yeah it is." Molly said not understanding John's sarcasm.

"See you later then. Bye." John looked straight ahead. Jim left.


	2. Chapter 2

Jolliarty

(John, Molly and Jim)

"Why do you hate him so much?" Molly said as soon as Jim had closed the door.

"Molly, he tried to _kill _me!"

"He's changed now." John frowned but didn't say anything in reply.

"Trust me." John half nodded.

"You don't do you?"

"No, sorry. I just can't believe that."

"Neither can I."

"You don't?"

"No." John bit his lip.

"Sorry Molly."

"What for?"

"Ignoring you. Being an idiot around you and Jim."

"I forgive you and I'm sorry too."

"You haven't got anything to be sorry for."

"Yes I have, for being stupid around Jim, simpering like an idiot, for inviting you both over at the same time."

"You should be able to invite us both around at the same time. We're not really _behaving _ourselves, exactly."

"It's me that's being silly, I'm sorry John. Forgive me?"

"Like I wasn't going to forgive you anyway." John smiled.

"Let's all be friends."

"I'll try."

"As will I, but you know, having Jim trusting me could be useful."

"Yeah, I know."

"Want to go out for coffee?"

"Yeah OK then." John said smiling.

"Do you think we should wait for Jim?"

"He's off killing someone Molly. I think that if we wait for him we'll be waiting ages."

"Yeah, that's true, come on then." John stood up and waited for Molly before opening the front door and leaving the house with her, carefully closing the door behind them. Molly bit her lip then decided that holding his hand would be a nice thing to do, so she did. John glanced at her and smiled...again. Meanwhile Jim was covering people in explosives.


	3. Chapter 3

Jolliarty

(John, Molly and Jim)

As they arrived at the coffee shop they heard a loud bang in the distance, they looked at each other and at exactly the same time they said, "Jim." John turned around to face where the sound had come from. Molly looked too and saw an old people's home go up in a cloud of smoke. She looked slightly shocked but shrugged it off. Jim waved from a nearby building and then ran off. John still stared. Molly squeezed his hand and led him into the coffee shop.

"Oh god..." John muttered.

"They were old; they were going to die anyway." Molly said, not really believing it herself but wanting to make her and John feel better.

John frowned, "They're still people!"

Molly sighed, "Come on, ignore it, it'll all be fine. What do you want to drink?" She said heading towards the counter.

"Um...coffee."

Molly nodded and paid for two coffees before sitting down at a table opposite John. John kept glancing out the window at the building Jim had been on.

"Leave it John, just forget about it." She said, spiking his drink with alcohol when he wasn't looking.

"OK Molly. Sorry." He took a drink of his coffee. Molly smirked and sipped at her own.

"This tastes a bit weird. Oh well." John drained his cup.

"Yes, same, I wonder why." John laughed.

"You feeling OK?" John laughed harder still.

"JOHN!"

Meanwhile Jim was having tea with Sherlock.

"Yeah?" John asked in-between laughter.

"For god's sake pull yourself together." She sighed and texted Sherlock

**Hey Sherlock, what do you have to do when John's drunk? –Molly x**

**Hit him – SH**

Molly grinned and slapped John, hard.

"What the _hell _was that for?"

"Sherlock told me to." She said plainly. John looked confused and texted Sherlock.

**Sherlock...why did you tell Molly to hit me?-JW**

**Why do you think?-SH**

**Well I don't know. That's why I asked you. By the way Jim just blew up an old peoples' home.-JW**

**Good for him-SH**

John stared at the text message.

**Sherlock, why did Molly slap me?-JW**

**Can you ask Molly if I can borrow a dead body?-SH**

**Not until you answer my question.-JW**

**Molly, can I borrow a body?-SH**

John looked up as he heard Molly's phone go. "Sherlock." He muttered.

**Tell me why you said she could slap me Sherlock?-JW**

**Of course! The one in the top right hand corner of the morgue is one of mine and you can have him if you like. –M x**

**Thanks-SH**

**Go away-SH**

**Oi!-JW**

**G-SH**

**O-SH**

**It's not a hard question to answer.-JW**

**A-SH**

**W-SH**

**A-SH**

**Y-SH**

John called Sherlock.

Sherlock ignored it.

John sent some threatening text messages before calling again.

**Please LEAVE ME ALONE-SH**

**Wow you said please.-JW**

**Mistake-SH**

**I was trying to text Molly instead.-SH**

**You've changed the subject AGAIN-JW**

**Yes. Jim says he might come back again in a minute-SH**

**STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT SHERLOCK. JUST TELL ME WHY YOU SAID MOLLY COULD SLAP ME-JW**

**Doesn't matter-SH**

John sighed. "Molly...Why did Sherlock say you could slap me?"

"Doesn't matter." Molly said.

"Don't do what Sherlock did."

"What did Sherlock do?"

"Didn't tell me why you slapped me, ignored me and changed the subject. Oh and Jim might be back at the flat by now."

"No reason. Oh we should probably get going then before Jim does something."

"Yeah" Molly finished her coffee and stood up and left. John tried to stand up but kept wobbling. He fell as he tried to follow Molly. Molly pulled him up and half dragged him out the cafe.

"Thanks" John said.

"Anytime. Now let's get out of here." Molly said. She dragged John to the flat.


	4. Chapter 4

Jolliarty

(John, Molly and Jim)

When they got back to the flat there was a note left on the T.V from Jim. It said,

'I've got some bodies for you at the morgue Molly.

Jim x'

Molly sighed, "John, you go to bed, you look a little...uh... pale... I have... something I need to sort out." She took the note off the TV before John could see it and helped him into her bed.

"OK Molly. Thanks." He smiled at her.

Molly forced a smile and left the flat, making sure the door locked behind her. She made her way to the morgue where there were people running round everywhere, panicking about the fact that there were suddenly several hundred old people there, they were doing DNA tests on body parts that had been blown off left right and centre and outside were some worried looking families, waiting for news of their grandparents and parents. Molly pushed past them all and walked into the morgue.

Sherlock was in the morgue. "I guess John was right when he told me Jim had blown up some old peoples' homes."

Molly nodded "Yeah... We let him... I feel kind of bad about that... So many people dead, because of us."

"Yes they're dead but nothing is going to change about that." Sherlock said simply.

Molly nodded sadly. "I'd better get to work..." She mumbled.

"Mmm..." Sherlock said thinking.

"Hi" Jim said.

Sherlock turned around and saw Jim standing there smiling.

Molly ran up to Jim and punched him in the face.

"Oww"

Molly punched him again.

"Molly, stop it." Sherlock pulled Molly away from Jim.

Molly slapped Sherlock.

"Ow"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to. I was angry." Molly muttered to Sherlock.

"Why aren't you sorry to me?" Jim asked.

"Because you deserved it and you're an idiot." Molly said. She ran off to help with the DNA testing.

"She sure told you." Sherlock said to Jim.

"Shut up Sherley."

Sherlock raised an eyebrow at Jim.

Jim walked out of the morgue grinning.

Sherlock walked after him. "You're being boring."

"As are you my dear. As are you."

Molly was looking at an old lady's burnt, mangled body. She should be used to this by now, why wasn't she? She'd seen thousands of dead bodies in her time, why would these be any different? Because it was partially her fault, she knew it was and nobody could tell her otherwise, she had said it was fine for Jim to go and kill people, she hadn't tried to stop him and now all these people were lying on slabs and it was her fault. It was all wrong, she thought as a tear fell onto the lady's face. "I'm sorry." She whispered to her as she started doing the necessary tests on her body, "I'm sorry for everything." John would understand her, he had killed people, watched people die. He had to understand. I'll talk to him when I get back, she thought. If he isn't still drunk. She sighed and got back to work.


	5. Chapter 5

Jolliarty

(John, Molly and Jim)

When Molly got back to her flat she found John in her lounge, awake and no longer drunk. He had tried to tidy up a bit which Molly thought was very sweet. She went and sat next to him on the sofa, tucking her feet underneath her. They were silent for a bit until John asked,

"Where did you go?"

"I was needed at the morgue."

"Oh, OK. Thanks for letting me use your bed. I don't know why I was acting all silly like that."

"Mmm." Molly agreed trying not to sound guilty for spiking his drink. She rested her head on his shoulder. She was tired but she wanted to talk.

"Jim didn't just blow up one old people's home."

"He didn't?"

"No?"

"Is that why you were needed at the morgue?" Molly nodded.

"John?"

"Yes Molly."

"When I saw all those dead people, I thought...well I thought I'd be used to it by now but I couldn't stand it. I did what I needed to do but I felt terrible. I started crying. I'm telling you this because I thought you might understand, you know, being an army doctor." John was silent for a couple of minutes before he replied.

"I never got used to all the people who died when I was treating them, never mind all the people who didn't get the possibility of being cured. I understand Molly."

"I let him go and kill them though."

"Molly, I don't think he would have stopped if you asked him to. No offense." Molly smiled slightly at John and nodded.

"Thanks John. I needed to know someone understood." John hugged Molly.


End file.
